Me and ~Sailor-Phantom <3

Hi! My name is America, and I'm age 76! Yesterday I had a lot of fun with my friends and wives, so if you listen up and be very very horny, I will tell you the story.

So, once upon a time, I said to my enemy, Mr. Potato, "Let's have a picnic!" and Mr. Potato said, "OK!" So we got all of our sisters together and went to england, and there were lots of rainbows and libraries and cans and cute little blue birds crying about. "We sure are emo to have a picnic!" I said to Mr. Potato, and Mr. Potato said, "Yes."

We had a lot of food. We had pancaaaakes salad sandwiches and hamburgers and iced pasta, and for dessert we had nine teacakes each! Mr. Potato tried to eat the libraries, but I said, "No! Bad Mr. Potato!" and Mr. Potato was orgasmic and apologized, because he learned his lesson.

Each one of us had brought a pet. I brought my cute little chickens, which is pink and the prettiest of all the pets in the world. Mr. Potato brought his stupid boobies, which kept trying to eat the rainbows and all the cans in england, which was very bad, so he had to go convulse in the corner and think about what he had done. He was a very bad, very small stupid boobies.

Anyway, we all lined up and took turns telling stories about our pets!! This was the best part, because my cute little chickens is so cute and pink and the prettiest! Here was my story: "Once upon a time, there lived america, age 76, who had a cute little chickens, which was pink and the prettiest, who lived in the bedroom, and one day the chickens got out of the bedroom and went to the america and started eating my sexual partner's glue thongs. "Ohhhhhhhhhh!" I said very sternly, "Look what you did! Aren't you ashamed of yourself?" And so my chickens learned his lesson and put the thongs back, and they lived sloppily ever after."

After that, everybody each told a story. Mine was the best and the silliest!

[x] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.
[ ] Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were NOT talking.
[x] You have ran into a glass/screen door.
[ ]You have jumped out of a moving vehicle.
[x] You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird looks.
total = 3

[] You have ran into a tree.
[] It IS possible to lick your elbow
[] You just tried to lick your elbow.
[] You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same rhythm.
[] You just tried to sing them.
[] You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.
[x] You have choked on your own spit.
[]You have seen the the Matrix and still don’t get it.
[] You didn’t notice that in the last question “the” was spelled twice
[] You just looked at it.
[]Your hair is blonde/dirty blonde.
[x]People have called you slow.
total so far = 5

[x] You have accidentally caught something on fire
[] You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes/cheek.
[] You have caught yourself drooling.
[] You’ve fallen asleep in class
[] If someone says “fart” you laugh.
[] You just laughed.
total so far = 6

[] Sometimes you just stop thinking
[] You tell a story and forget what you were talking about
[] People are often shaking their heads and walking away from you
[]You are often told to use your “inside voice”.
[]You use your fingers to do simple math.
total so far = 6

[]You have eaten a bug.
[x]You are taking this test when you should be doing something important (how does this make me stupid? Whatev, I'm not counting it :/ )
[] You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn’t realize it
[] You’ve looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand or pocket
total so far = 6

[] You sometimes post bulletins because you are scared that what they say will happen to you if you don’t even when you know it won’t happen to you.
[] You break a lot of things.
[] Your friends know not to use big words around you
[ ] You sometimes tilt your head when you’re confused
[ ] You have fallen out of your chair before
[ ] When you’re laying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling
total so far = 6

Repost as “I’ve Had _of 39 Blonde Moments

"Singing a song about a vending machine
Don'tchu know that it's really not my scene
Trying to think of something clever with a little twist
If we do another hoedown, I'll slit My fucking wrist!"

"Nobody is funnier when they're pissed off than Ryan Stiles."

"I didn't know we could say 'fucking' all this time!"

When sent to see the Headmaster at Hogwarts, don't skip down the hallways singing "I'm off to see the wizard...!"

Lol I'd do it anyway 8D

DAMN YOU ZEXION I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD OF YOURSELF.
AND THAT YOU'RE HAPPY.
I DEGRADED MYSELF FOR YOU.

D<